remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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