This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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