i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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