I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
