FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
