He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
there is puke in my bra ... again
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
