Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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