I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
her vagine was all disorganized.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
