just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
