Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
