we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
