your parents love me but you hate me
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
