Quick, to the slutcave!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
