Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
