Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
