I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Randomize
