that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
