before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
