Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I just found a bag of teeth...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
