he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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