I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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