May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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