bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
