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Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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