so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
