so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
