Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
