Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
