These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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