you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
