So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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