The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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