I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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