He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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