i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
