I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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