Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
