You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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