What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
