my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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