You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
