Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
