and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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