VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
