in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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