my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
