i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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