I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
So. Much. Porn.
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