she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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