Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
